15 Ridiculous Lies Parents Use On Their Kids
This is the best way to get any kid to listen to their parents!
1. "Don't listen to your grandma, she doesn't know what she's talking about."Twentytwowords
This is why grandparents are the best. They know not what they have done after they have ruined a good lie. You can't get much past your old man's old man or your mother's mother. They are wise beyond their years.
2. "Blind people can drive too."Twentytwowords
We bet this was more of a common lie than you would think. Aren't the bumps on the side of the road in case the driver falls asleep? Isn't Red Bull for the same thing?
3. "Once it's done, it's done."Twentytwowords
Can you imagine a world where toys only lasted as long as their batteries? As a child, you would be so bummed out if you had a favorite toy and the batteries died! This is why every kid needs to learn to play with sticks and bugs.
4. "You mouth is going to run out of words."Twentytwowords
The best way for this to work was to pick a number high enough that a child couldn't count to it, but low enough that it is believable by the child. Plus, it's going to work because you're their parents, and why would you lie to your kids about something as scary as losing your ability to talk?
5. "It's not seafood. It's Italian!"Twentytwowords
This person should be thanking their parents! First of all, calamari is a great appetizer, and it should be enjoyed by all. Second, what kids wouldn't want to try anything that has been deep fried?
6. "Son, oranges have a fascinating history."Twentytwowords
Way to go, Dad. "Pulp Fiction" is not an appropriate kids' movie by any means. It's best to lie and make up some ridiculous reason why your kids can't watch it rather than just tell them it's too mature for them.
7. "Nine... Eight... Seven..."Twentytwowords
Here is another example of exemplary parenting moves. This mother got her kids to bed on New Year's Eve several hours before midnight! Then she had the rest of the night to throw a bash with all of her grown-up friends.
8. "Veggies are better when they taste like candy."Twentytwowords
These parents are onto something with this sneaky little lie. However diabolical it may seem, it's only a matter of years before your kids realize vegetables will never taste like candy.
9. "The roads are for sleeping."Twentytwowords
Of all things to lie about, roadkill is acceptable in our book. Kids don't need to hear about soft, fluffy animals getting hit by cars every day. It makes sense—the side of the road is a perfectly warm spot to lounge around on!
10. "I'm watching you."Twentytwowords
And you thought the fear of God watching over you was enough. This poor kid went to school every day thinking his mother was watching his every move! He would have never been able to talk to the ladies in high school or college if he believed this lie his whole life!
11. "The car is going to flip."Twentytwowords
Here is one truly unsettling lie. Aside from being mean, there is no good reason to scare your kid like this. Well, actually, it is pretty darn funny.
12. "Be careful not to turn yourself inside out!"Twentytwowords
If only kids knew how impossible this feat was, they would not be so afraid of turning themselves inside out. There are always worse ways turn yourself inside out... Right?
13. "The TV only works in the rain."Twentytwowords
Here is the best way to ensure your kids play outside in the sun for as long as possible. The only downside we can find is that you wouldn't be able to watch TV until the kids are asleep or until it rains.
14. "Those are just people farms."Twentytwowords
We are not sure if this is a good lie or a bad lie. Death is never easy to talk to kids about, but telling them cemeteries are where people grow, now that's a strange lie. Some lies are best never told...
15. "You're getting a Sad Meal."Twentytwowords
And finally, we have the worst lie in the books. This is a heartbreaker to kids everywhere. A Happy Meal is the best treat any kid can receive. Receiving a Sad Meal for poor behavior would scare any child into obedience!